For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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