i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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