Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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