how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You can't special order awesome
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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