I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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