He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
