i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize