Dual....:-)
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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