These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
