It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
