In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
