dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
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I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
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I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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