If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
