Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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