I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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