He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
