i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
