Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Randomize
