i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
