isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
