Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
not ubering you a puppy
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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