I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
