he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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