Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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