You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again