she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
My vagina is officially offended.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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