dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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