I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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