I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I have aggressive nipples.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize
