I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
where am i from again
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
