You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
