I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
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