i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
