so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Is it penis luge time yet?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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