take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
