i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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