ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
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We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
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Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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