ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
