I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You can't just leave with hair like that
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.