nut hugger
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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