Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
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This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
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I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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