So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
