I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
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I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
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Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize