some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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