My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
