we're blogging at a bar
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
