I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
