just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
