i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He better not be in your backpack
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
