Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
