I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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