today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
