I CAN MOONWALK!
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
