i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize