and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
