wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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