just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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