He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
