You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
