just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize