She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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