I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
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