I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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