Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
