so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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